do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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