I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
