p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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