got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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