just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
