Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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