sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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