Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize