Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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