My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize