Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
