Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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