so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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