nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So many bounce houses so little time
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
