Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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