the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
