we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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