Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
