I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize