Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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