I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
