id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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