dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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