Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he was CRYING into my vagina
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize