it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he fucked my hip out of place.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
