dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
