this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize