i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
