Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Milquetoast, coolest word ever.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes

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(614): View more from Ohio

Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.

(904): View more from Florida

FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift

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(919): View more from North Carolina

he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him

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(714): View more from California

She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.

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(214): View more from Texas

Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...

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(1978): View more from

He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle

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(970): View more from Colorado

I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.

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