it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
