I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
