I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can't turn off my feet"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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