So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
