that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
