i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
