So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize