Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
