I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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