so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
