i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
