I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
