im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
