i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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