Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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