Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
