im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
