On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
