He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize