Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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