Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
