Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
