wanna go halves on a baby?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it was like eating out sand paper
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
MIDGETS
????
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
