it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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