: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
