Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
