Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
