Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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