where am i from again
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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