You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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