First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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