dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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