Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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