I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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