Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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