why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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