Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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