I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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