I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
