Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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