You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
false alarm, still single
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
