We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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