eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He better not be in your backpack
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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